Answering Machine Messages

Panasonic answering machine with 2 tapes

Panasonic answering machine with 2 tapes (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hi! We’re actually at home right now, screening our calls. Leave a message and if we pick up, you’re someone we want to talk to. If we don’t pick up…we, can you say “hint”? [beep]

[Start this message normally, but as it goes on do it slower…and slower…and slower…with more and more pauses.] Hi! This is the…answering machine. But I’m running low on…batteries. I’ll try to remember your message, but I’m…scared and it’s getting…very…dark. [beep]

Hi! We’re not here right now, but if you’ll just leave a message on our new machine here. [pause] Come on, machine, let’s hear that beep. C’mon. Just a little one. You can do it. That’s it. C’mon boy. That’s it. [pause] OH, COME ON, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! BEEP YOU STUPID MACHINE! [beep]

Hello? [pause] Hello? [pause] Hello!
I can’t understand a word you’re saying. [pause]
You’re mumbling!!! [pause]
Now you’re breaking up. [pause]
Can you turn down the music? [pause]
Oh, NEVER MIND! Just leave a message at the beep. [beep]

Categories: Miscellany

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