allan pease

Commitment

By RachelUndefined on November 5, 2013 • ( 0 )

Commitment: verb, female: A desire to get married and raise a family; verb, male: not trying to chat up other women while out with one’s wife or girlfriend. — Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry

a photograph of My husband Earth looking like a trucker in his red cap

Personal Knowledge

By RachelUndefined on August 23, 2013 • ( 0 )

A man will know every good joke his friend has told him but not be aware that his friend has split up from his wife. — Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry

Joke offense

By RachelUndefined on March 27, 2012 • ( 0 )

You can choose to feel offended because someone tells a joke that says anyone from your country is stupid. That doesn’t mean they are stupid and even if you agree that they are, abusing the joke-teller won’t make them any… Read More ›

Level-headed

By RachelUndefined on March 23, 2012 • ( 0 )

How can you tell a level-headed Australian? They dribble out both sides of their mouth. — Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry

Well balanced

By RachelUndefined on March 21, 2012 • ( 0 )

Why are Aussie’s so well-balanced? They have a chip on both shoulders. — Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry

Australia vs yoghurt

By RachelUndefined on March 17, 2012 • ( 0 )

What’s the difference between Australia and yoghurt? At least yoghurt has some culture! — Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry

Offence

By RachelUndefined on March 15, 2012 • ( 0 )

Being offended is a choice. Others can’t offend you — you choose to be offended. — Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry

Jokes

By RachelUndefined on March 10, 2012 • ( 0 )

…every time there is a tragedy, it will invariably spawn its own set of jokes. Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry

Excess

By RachelUndefined on March 8, 2012 • ( 0 )

Osama bin Laden has 53 brothers and sisters, 13 wives, 28 children and is worth over $300 million. But he hates Americans because of their excessive lifestyles. — Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry

Sleeping

By RachelUndefined on March 4, 2012 • ( 0 )

What do you say to a man who’s just had sex? Anything you like — he’s asleep. — Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry

Strangers

By RachelUndefined on March 2, 2012 • ( 0 )

Why do men give their penis a name? Because they don’t want a complete stranger making their major decisions? — Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry Related articles Why men lie and women cry (clemencealdebourne.wordpress.com)

PMT

By RachelUndefined on January 28, 2012 • ( 0 )

What’s the difference between a woman with PMT and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist. — Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry

Tart vs bitch

By RachelUndefined on January 22, 2012 • ( 0 )

What’s the difference between a tart and a bitch? A tart will sleep with anyone. A bitch will sleep with anyone except you. — Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry Related articles Bitches Be Like……. Read More ›

Fart gas

By RachelUndefined on January 16, 2012 • ( 0 )

Fart gas is 50-60% nitrogen and 30-40% carbon dioxide. The other 5-10% is methane, which causes underground mines to explode and hydrogen gas, which, in a bomb, can destroy cities. One of the biggest sources of these gases is eggs,… Read More ›

Gas

By RachelUndefined on November 21, 2011 • ( 0 )

Men let loose an average of 1.5 – 2.5 litres of gas a day delivering an average of 12 farts a day which is enough to fill a small balloon. Women fart an average of seven times a day and… Read More ›

Farts

By RachelUndefined on November 17, 2011 • ( 0 )

The world’s most famous farter was Joseph Pojul who, in 1892, had a famous act at the Moulin Rouge in Paris under the name ‘Le Petomane’. His act opened by telling a story using a remarkable range of farts for… Read More ›

Fertilization

By RachelUndefined on November 14, 2011 • ( 0 )

Why does it take 4 million male sperm to find and fertilize an egg? Not one wants to ask for directions. — Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry Related articles The miracle of life-and how… Read More ›

Alternatives…

By RachelUndefined on November 2, 2011 • ( 0 )

Men don’t get lost – they simply discover alternative destinations. — Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry Related articles Why men lie and women cry (clemencealdebourne.wordpress.com)