Story that made you laugh out loud There are quite a few stories I would love to include in answer to this question — Make a Wish by Rorschach’s Blot and A Black Comedy by nonjon are two that come… Read More ›
humour
Dear Jesus
As an apology for not posting anything last Monday, I am giving you a second post today. This post is to promote a website I came across, called Christmas Day. They have loads of information about Xmas, decorations and celebrations… Read More ›
Santa Knows
Sarah and her thirteen-year-old sister had been fighting a lot this year. This happens when you combine a headstrong two-year-old, who is sure she is always right, with a young adolescent. Sarah’s parents, trying to take advantage of her newfound… Read More ›
The Suspected Wharfie
There was a certain wharfie on the Melbourne waterfront who was suspected of stealing. Each day he left the wharf where he worked, pushing a wheelbarrow filled with straw. So a police detective was detailed to watch him. The detective… Read More ›
Top Ten Australian Films (1950 – 2000)
The Story of the Kelly Gang, the earliest feature film ever made, was released in 1906 and the Australian film industry has been producing outstanding cinema ever since. Though many gems have remained undiscovered by audiences outside of Australia, the… Read More ›
Fighting Fire
My Dad used to say ‘always fight fire with fire’, which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade. — Peter Kay
Top Ten Monty Python Sketches
One of the most iconic symbols of my childhood is Monty Python, which is ironic given that most of their stuff was released either before I was born or when I was far too young to either understand or remember.However,… Read More ›
Top Ten Horrible Histories Songs
Horrible Histories is a popular British television series based on the best-selling book series by Terry Dreary. The show was produced for CBBC by Lion Television with Citrus Television and ran from 2009 to 2013 with an additional ‘reincarnation’ in 2015…. Read More ›
Diggers of Two Wars
On a footpath in Tel Aviv one day in October, 1942, an old English colonel and a young American major were discussing the war situation in general when they were approached by four youthful Aussie soldiers who had been imbibing… Read More ›
Top Ten Monty Python Songs
One of the most iconic symbols of my childhood is Monty Python, which is ironic given that most of their stuff was released either before I was born or when I was far too young to either understand or remember.
Top Ten Voltaire Songs
I have quite eclectic taste when it comes to music. There is no one genre that would stand out above the others in my taste. However, I do tend to prefer artists who have their own unique sound – the… Read More ›
After Ever After
Related articles Disney, Interrupted: 5 Artists Who Will Change the Way You Look at Disney (bidnessetc.wordpress.com) Meet the stars of YouTube’s teen empire (dailydot.com) Pick up slang, idioms, and fast spoken English on the YouTube “React” series (connectedenglish.wordpress.com) Classic Songs… Read More ›
Arrack and Sympathy
During the second world war two Aussie soldiers were in Damascus on leave from a camp nearby. During their perambulations around the city they sampled quite a number of noggins of the local brew, arrack, and eventually they became hopelessly… Read More ›
Commitment
Commitment: verb, female: A desire to get married and raise a family; verb, male: not trying to chat up other women while out with one’s wife or girlfriend. — Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry
Where there’s a will…
The Australian platoon was under heavy Japanese frontal attack. The commander yelled out, “Fire at will!” “Cripes,” growled Chiller, “if you can pick Will outta that mob, you’re a better man than I am !” — Bill Wannan in Come… Read More ›
Unusual Commands
There was a certain Australian sar’major during World War I who gave his commands in a most unorthodox manner. “Slope arms — you, too!” “Present arms — you, too!” “Forward march — you, too!” After the parade one day, a… Read More ›
Of course
The first grade was learning the letters of the alphabet. ‘What comes after T?’ the teacher asked. Nettie quickly answered, ‘V’. — Herbert V Prochnow & Herbert V Prochnow Jr. in Jokes, Quotes & One Liners Volume 2
Hell vs gaol
[Jack]* was arrested and charged with cattle stealing. At the trial the judge asked him what would happen if he told a lie. “Well, boss,” said [Jack]*, “I think I go to hell.” “And,” continued the judge, “what happens if… Read More ›
Level-headed
How can you tell a level-headed Australian? They dribble out both sides of their mouth. — Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry
Well balanced
Why are Aussie’s so well-balanced? They have a chip on both shoulders. — Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry
Important question
The professor was delivering the last lecture of term. ‘The examination papers are in the hands of the printer,’ he concluded. ‘Now, are there any questions you would like answered?’ Silence prevailed for a moment. Then a voice piped up,… Read More ›
Australia vs yoghurt
What’s the difference between Australia and yoghurt? At least yoghurt has some culture! — Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry
On whether the town cemetery should be fenced:
Whoi wurry; them that’s in don’t want to get out, and them that’s out don’t want to get in. — Tom Doyle, mayor of Kanowna, Australasian Post, October 30, 1958. Quoted in Bill Wannan’s Come in Spinner
Great poet discovered
Professor: ‘Did you write this poem without any outside help?’ Student: ‘I did.’ Professor: ‘To think I would be lucky enough to have Lord Byron in my class!’ — Herbert V Prochnow & Herbert V Prochnow Jr. in Jokes, Quotes… Read More ›
Too slow
Barracker, to slow player: “Kick it — don’t autograph it!” Bill Wannan’s Come in Spinner
Excess
Osama bin Laden has 53 brothers and sisters, 13 wives, 28 children and is worth over $300 million. But he hates Americans because of their excessive lifestyles. — Allan & Barbara Pease in Why Men Lie and Women Cry
Argument
Old Gentleman: “Look ‘ere, me young bantam, I saw football played 30 years ago, afore you was born.” “That wasn’t football,” says the bantam, “that was civil war in them days, and they threw in a football to make it… Read More ›
Alphabet
‘Willie,’ the teacher asked the new pupil, ‘do you know your alphabet?’ ‘Yes, miss,’ answered Willie.’ ‘Well, then,’ continued the teacher, ‘what letter comes after A?’ ‘All the rest of them.’ — Herbert V Prochnow & Herbert V Prochnow Jr…. Read More ›
Rafferty's Rules is Closing Down 